Auld Lang Syne 2010

It's finally time to sing Auld Lang Syne to 2010, a year of new beginnings, new opportunities and new experiences and truly, all's well that ends well.

I wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year but most importantly I wish you enough for the New Year 2011.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye."

Quoted from the internet

Kodak smile

And just like that it is the end of an era. RIP Kodachrome, you have captured some of our best smiles, some goofy and some fake, some tears and then some dramatics that we did only for the camera!

Gone are those days when we carefully loaded the film into the camera and not everyone in the house was allowed to do it or wanted to do it, it's not rocket science, but there is a correct way to do it and stressing over a damaged film roll was not particularly appealing and certainly the rolls themselves were not inexpensive either. The days when we thought twice before clicking a picture, when we made sad long faces as we got to the last of the 36 captures, when we looked forward to the opportunity to head to Foto Flash and have the film developed. The picking up process was even better as we'd cheat and check some of the photographs in the store itself or along the way and chronologically placing them in the album.

I got my first digital camera, a Canon A95 in 2004, it no longer works but served me well. And the cycle continues, point and shoot, a cent a picture or a dollar a picture whichever works and makes you happy :)

Bart and Caltrain

I already know all the stations on the Bart and Caltrain between here and to where I need to go. Although I was surprised to note that the Bart is slower than the Caltrain or at least the one I take. The oh-so-infrequent times when the B train emerges from the tunnels, it's speed is slower than the cars on the parallel road whereas the C seems to zoom by the cars and it is out in the open most of the time. Have to experiment with the cable cars and the regular buses, add public transport to what I love about the move!

The numbers game

Started off well and continued the momentum right until three quarters of the year. And then there was a hiatus and now I don't think I can make up for the lost time especially with only so few days left in the year. Well, I reckon, there's no need to!

No mystery here: It's only the post count for the year, my hyper sensitive numbers part of the brain has been working overtime, that's all!

The olive theory

Say you meet someone who shares the same birthday (date and month) as you, has a particular last name that seems to conform to the round-robin list of last names your school friends and now their spouses have, whose sister's name is the same as your sister's, who drinks coffee with exactly three quarters of a teaspoon of sugar, who loves olives (since you hate them) and who is a fan of Lost. That must be too much of a coincidence right? I mean, certainly this is God himself intervening, so he's got to be the one for whatever reason?

So you've heard, 'Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous', but do you truly believe that? Sure, I believe in angels and miracles, the power of prayer and faith moving mountains and as much as the two concepts may seem intertwined they are not.

Predictable human logic picks out clusters of coincidence from a myriad of ocurrences without investigating the layer below the too good to be true coincidences, the layer of the skeptics. That's where the Texas Sharpshooter fallacy comes in, I have been guilty of attributing greater significance to something that was perfectly probably only a natural order of events at various stages of my existence and I might still do it.

'You can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be'. This is a quote from 500 days of Summer, it's not verbatim but it struck a chord.

Back to the fallacy, this is what it says 'The fallacy gets its name from imagining a cowboy shooting at a barn. Over time, the side of the barn becomes riddled with holes. In some places there are lots of them, in others there are few. If the cowboy later paints a bullseye over a spot where his bullet holes clustered together it looks like he is pretty good with a gun.By painting a bullseye over a bullet hole the cowboy places artificial order over natural random chance.' Go read it all here and on wiki too.

He remembered

It's always the little things that make you smile, that make you cry, don't they? 

It's been a week of uncertainty first, then lows and highs. I'm not sure at what level of the cloud or wave or fire I'm on right now, I'll know soon enough but I reckon it doesn't matter ( This is where I go on about how work is work and should not determine your state of well-being, but it's not entirely true so I'll let it be). You know this thing we do, every year with goodbyes and the farewell lunches, that's what it is. If you're lucky you'll do it only once every two years or longer. Yes, change is constant yet it is those moments in goodbyes, that will last forever. This story is not about team goodbyes, it's about forging the unlikeliest of relationships, something that I might have the tendency to do!

It was just before the thanksgiving holiday of last year that our team was moved into the current building they are in. It may seem like a short time to get to know someone or even forge any kind of relationship with, let alone someone who knows in the security team. Every morning he was there, his usual beaming 70 old year old self making sure that no one entered the building without their badges or give us our temporary passes on the days when we thought we lost it but had only misplaced it, and over time we'd just banter during my breaks. 

He had stories for every season, every vacation he took and every single time we talked he would ask me for my name, saying it was a difficult name to remember. I know he loves baloney and cheese and loves going on long drives into the wild open country land from Oregon to the Mt. Rushmore and everywhere else in between in his truck. He asked me if I knew how to dance and then invited me to come up to his farm-house on some weekend, saying I reminded him of his niece who was away in college, he had stories of the now sprawling buildings where we worked to those from the good old days. It was always fascinating to hear those narrations of his family, kids, parents and even his community. As I bid farewell to him yesterday he called me out by my name and asked me why I had to go and if I would come back to the office, he remembered. 

And then it was only the office ...

A little tradition

This post will continue to satisfy something I noticed recently, a little tradition if I may call it that. There's no point to be made, there's no advice to be given and there's no experience to share.

I'll leave you with the lyrics from Ryan Star's Breathe, only because I've been humming it all day.

She's fine, most of the time 
She takes her days with a smile 
She moves like dancing in light 
Spinning around to the sound 
But sometimes she falls down 


 Breathe, just breathe 
Take the world off your shoulders 
And put it on me Breathe, just breathe
Let the life that you lead Be all that you need

A little piece of his ear

It was a razor-sharp pair of scissors, almost brand new and way too big too, completely inappropriate for cutting hair, let alone a little child's hair, the girls should have known better. They were all prepped up, large mirror, tall chair, couple of extra pair of hands to hold the kid down, just in case! 

There he was in the chair, his cute self. I don't think he was excited ... I mean have you ever seen little children in a barber's shop or a salon? the havoc they create, phew! Anyway, she seemed to have done a good job, the hair looked neat and cropped, a little uneven on end, but would do for her first time, unfortunately she found a long lock near the left ear, that's when it happened, like a scene out of a silent movie all in slow motion! She had chopped a little piece of his ear, a very tiny, minuscule piece. It probably didn't hurt since there was no howling, after all it's all tissue. It did grow back and the ear and it's shape turned out just fine, but ever so often he remembers her as the sister who chopped off a piece of his ear!

She's sailin' away

Ever been excited about something but when the time comes, for various reasons you just seem out of it?

The project scope seemed interesting before it was executed, it made my heart do a little jump however, sadly along the way it just seemed to have lost it's charm. I don't know why? the message was drafted, the original draft being the final message ( I surprised myself there), was ziplocked, packed into my bag and awaiting it's finder. The quest for the perfect bottle died before it even began but I think somewhere in the hustle and bustle of the first three days of the trip and the lack of sleep, I simply did not put in the effort required to procure a bottle I wanted the MIB to rest in. Despite that, when I set out into the middle of the ocean from the Keys, I knew without a doubt that I was going to cast it out, bottle or not! 

After a fun first half of the day, I unwittingly had to recruit a partner in crime from one of the crew aboard the boat we were on. Since they were serving food, there were a few empty bottles to spare, sadly they were plastic and too big. Ideally if it was plastic, I'd have preferred a 0.5 ltr bottle, but then really at that point I had lost the right to talk about my preferences! Naturally his curiosity was piqued at my strange request and despite my not revealing my not so elaborate plan, he was able to guess what it was for. Of course, considering that we were so close to the coral reef and that there were laws protecting the area and everything in it and that he was an enforcer, he did ask me not to throw it out just yet. 

Here she is all prepped up for her journey, after all what's on the inside matters more than the outside.

Honestly, no one would feel like throwing a plastic bottle into that part of the ocean, it's so pristine you can see the ocean bed and the marine life underneath even from a comfort place on the boat. It was my intention to toss out the bottle closer to shore for all the practical reasons and more and as soon as the coastline of Keywest was visible to us, my partner in crime helped me with my whoops, 'something overboard, but no need to go after it' moment. All I saw was 'her' sailing away into the deep blue ocean and a sense of peace came upon me, I don't know if it was just that moment, the sea always has that kind of effect on me.

Posted this on buzz as soon as my phone was within range of a cellphone tower!

I had to do this and even if it did not happen in the perfect way I wanted, I still have a hope that this was not the end, and she will be found and then there'll be a part 3 to this series :) I just might do this again though, in more familiar territory, closer to home. 

Today is June 21st!

Today is June 21^st. I'll call it C-Day, not to be confused with D-Day from the MIB reference in my previous post. I want to say it is the beginning of the rest of my life, but then that would be me being dramatic and all although that's something I do ever so often and then I do think every new day is the beginning of ... you get my point, so let's just stick to C-Day. 

I've always had a fascination with June 21, maybe if I was not born on the day I was born which I think is a great day to be born on, then I'd have wanted to be born on June 21, sound weird enough? :) As it is, we have two Gemini's in the family, another cusped Gemini would have been disastrous :P

Back to June 21, the birthday of Prince William (which girl my age hasn't had a crush on that cute boy fella at some point in their lives, tell me?), the feast of St. Aloysius College, the birthday of our current Bishop (Mangalore), summer solstice (appropriately we have a heat wave warning today) and I'm sure some more equally fascinating events, so I'll record mine too.

To satisfy my curiosity, I looked through my archives and found there's only one other blog entry dated June 21, that was in 2006, so much for the fascination. Going forward, I will *try* to post 'something' on every 6/21, I encounter!

Message in a Bottle - Feasibility and Initial Planning

A draft version of my message is ready and sealed in a ziploc bag, it will be cast into the deep ocean next month with little to no fan-fare, at most probably a picture to capture the event if possible.

Ever since I can remember, I've wanted to send out my own 'message in a bottle' hence forth referred to as MIB, I think the pleasure of sending out one is slightly elevated than receiving one and of course nothing can beat receiving a response to a MIB. I've had umpteen opportunities to do it but I reckon better late than never.

The feasibility and initially planning was nothing like I've ever done in any previous project, a 5 year old could do it! Once I knew that I would have access to a deep ocean, the wheels in my head started turning and I knew there could be no better time to create my own MIB. Next came the little tough part, the content of my message? Knowing me, I had to caution against the finder drumming a tl;dr, I knew I wanted to bring a smile to the person who discovers it, I can almost visualize a girl or a boy reading it, with a grin on their face and that is what I've set out to do in my draft. I still call it a draft version as I'll probably modify it another 7 times until D-Day. Then came the easy choice of using my email id as the preferred method of response, when they find it, if at all they wanted to tell me about it.

MIB should be sent in a fancy blue transparent bottle, no? Anyway, due to the logistics involved in procuring and transporting said blue bottle, I 'think' I'll have to stick with either a wine or beer bottle and then comes the real trick of how to seal the cap, haven't figured that out yet, but can't let the MIB wiggle its way out of the bottle, now can I?

My turquoise dream

What is it about the sea, I've asked myself a million times,
In my head and in a pensive mood,
What pray be my connection to this vast expanse,
Who hath not desired the Sea?

She fades into nothingness, clicked somewhere along the Northwest Pacific Coast.

I've grown up by the Arabian sea, she with all her might, us building sand castles on the Panambur beach, the serene strolls on Tannirbhavi beach, the boisterous parties on Suratkal beach, thrown into the water at Kapu beach, girls day out at Summer Sands, office parties at Kotekar beach and what became our very own getaway spot from a few Computer Architecture and Object Oriented classes, Malpe beach. In the midst of all those, somewhere is Fujairah beach and Khorfakkan beach and how can I can not include Goa and a little bit of northern Kerala too.

In my opinion there is really no option between flying out of Bombay or Bangalore, not that we had the Bangalore option while we were young. But flying in from Bombay will give you the best feeling ever, when the airplane moves in from out of the clouds and the Arabian sea coastline is visible, she dips, she rises and then she descends. That is a moment worth relishing and capturing and I've managed to do so on a couple of occasions, hiding from the prying eyes of the flight attendants!

Living inland this past year, I can feel the void, I can't hear her talk to me anymore. My feet have not been sucked into the sand, I don't have the sinking feeling, I have not felt the salt water on my face and I have not collected sea shells. Despite her wild roar on the pacific she beckoned me aboard the Seattle ferries, from Ocean shores and San Juan into the Pacific, to the most pristine blue oceans ever and although she seemed a little dull and down at Galveston in the Gulf of Mexico, she was always still only an hour's drive away. 

I've heard from my parents that I was a water loving baby and with a bunch of baby pictures always with a hose in hand splashing water around the house, on everyone on myself, I can pretend to remember those moments. I don't quite know why I didn't learn to swim, her vastness scares me a bit but not enough as I can feel the bonding that is just hard to put to words.

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me),
It's always our self we find in the sea.
- E.E. Cummings

I think it's time for some sea therapy, maybe that's when I will have my epiphany. 

Venice queen

I had a dream, it was on a gondola under the twilight sky, there you were, there I was and then there was the merchant of Venice.

In sooth, I know not why I am so sad;
It wearies me; you say it wearies you;
But how I caught it, found it, or came by it,
What stuff 'tis made of, whereof it is born,
I am to learn;
And such a want-wit sadness makes of me
That I have much ado to know myself.

I hold the world but as a world, '*';
A stage where every man must play a part
And mine I did on so many occasions,
the two 'tis heart will not forget,
That much I owe you.

To You.

Beer Shampoo

I've heard of the joys of rinsing one's hair with beer shampoo and also of bathing in it. I certainly had no intention of trying any of these, what is the use of wasting perfectly good beer on hair, when you can drink it, no?

My viewpoint took a 360° turn when I realized I'd left a bottle of beer open all through the night and day allowing it to be contaminated and spoilt? I couldn't possibly drink that now, could I? That's when the beer shampoo plan was conceived.

Step 1: Heat the beer in a saucepan and bring it to boil (The recipe asked for reducing the content to 1/4, but I figure no harm in letting it be runny!)

Step 2: Pour in a few spoons of shampoo ( I used garnier fructis, this is probably only so that it will lather a bit)

Step 3: That's it, done. Use the beer shampoo.

I must admit, my hair felt good after using this beer shampoo although the smell from heating the beer did make my apartment seem like it was recovering from a bad beer hangover!

P.S Just a reminder, please read the disclaimer before attempting anything I write on this blog and the disclaimer's not updated either, so you're pretty much on your own here.

My Yellow Submarine

Yet another puzzle bites the dust, this one is called Emerald Valley. My fascination with puzzles is now a well known fact, but I must admit to having an inclination only towards the landscapes by Thomas Kinkade. The portraits just don't impress me as much.

I'm also currently reading The Bridges of Madison County and I found Robert Kincaid to be hauntingly similar to Thomas Kinkade (not that I know the man!) with his camera and passion for landscapes. It was disappointing to note that Kincaid was only the figment of the author's imagination.

When something seems easier than baking bread, is it no longer worth the time invested? I think I've pretty much figured out the process for putting together these puzzles and working for a process oriented employer, the process has become so ingrained in me ... tsk, tsk. Here's a simple trick, start with the corners and work your way in. Make small piles ( I start out with 6 piles and then further into 12 based on the shape and colors) and that and a little bit of sunshine is what separates you from a pretty landscape of a 1000 pieces.

A sky of blue and sea of green is all that I want today, anyone?

RIP rzd.musings

This is something I should have done months ago. No, No ... don't shed your tears yet. I'm not retiring this blog, I'm only changing the contact by email option (now you can start crying) which I'm sure won't be missed and before you say it, yes, I have to work on the html portion for the tabs (again!). I decided it's not worth my time and yours to have the email out there, after all there are so many other ways to send your comments.

I've met a few fascinating people through that id and that's probably an exaggeration too, but overall it's not been a pleasant experience. Back when I was elusive, it probably added to the charm or so I thought and I'm still appreciative for the bouquets and brickbats.

52 weeks

 I just crossed 52 weeks off my make-shift calendar, 52 weeks out of which some days just went by like a blur and other days which seemed frozen in some perverse time-experiment. This is also now my longest ever stretch without having made a trip back home.

It was a journey of a 62 hours undertaken with hope mainly for the future, for the unknown, for change (as much as it terrifies me) If my travel woes to getting here were any indication of things to come, then I should have simply taken the next flight back home :-) The hope still remains, though the words have had to be re-arranged through a tumultuous journey, although it may be for something different. It's not about getting priorities right, that's one thing that's been straight in my head for as long as I can remember, it's probably about taking comfort and solace in those small little nice things (something about counting your blessings?) as difficult as it may be to find them when your eyes are all blurry. It is about not letting it get to you if other people think you are not good enough and when you are judged for all that's not in your control and trust me I can sit here now all high and mighty and write this, but it's not easy to implement, everything in life is a work in progress.

The hardest part about moving to a new city is the settling in, the first few weeks when you wonder what you are doing thousands of miles away from your loved ones and you don't really know anyone around, but I've found it's not the case. The initial months are always the best, everyone is very enthusiastic in getting to know and just forming friendships. In the kind of circumstances we live in, there's always people moving out, getting married and then it's harder to keep up the social setting. This is also my first time in a multi-vendor team, more on that after I move out of the team :) Okay, this is sounding very Oprah-esque now. Must Stop.

'One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand'

Shampoo vs Books

My shampooing habits have some similarities with my reading habits, that's all I can divulge for now.

The question mark?

Hazelnut coffee or Regular coffee? Tall or Grande or Large ? No cheese, Extra cheese or Regular cheese?

We often come across a myriad of choices in our lives, some as simple as selecting between mutton and shrimp biryani other’s bordering and threatening our very existence on this planet! Exaggerating a bit, but what if you simply do not have a choice, what if all the cards belong to someone else and all you can do is play along, hope you somehow come out a survivor?

Can the cards be grabbed, can they be shuffled? Do you want to do it, are you willing to go the extra mile, make the connecting flights? You like words like wallow? While all you want to do is swim and furiously across shores. Can you unwrite all the words that were written? Can you unbreak all that was shattered? Can you make sure the spider does not start spinning his current *more deadly* web and this just after you’ve cleaned the old one?

Can you not do any of this? Can you simply continue living one day at a time?

And then I wonder ‘Why I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.’?

12:57

The cooking range clock and the microwave clock were blinking 12:57, it couldn't have been AM since I could see the sun streaming in through the window shades and on my groggy eyes. My first thought was that I had somehow turned off the main switches for both the microwave and the range.

I turn off the mains for the heater as sometimes it gets uncontrollably hot and the heater knob seems to be mal-functioning, I hear ya ... I need to put in a maintenance request for that like I've been meaning to for the past two weeks, one of these days for sure!

Anyway, so I go check the mains and despite my still slightly dazed state of mind, I can see that all the switches are in the 'ON' position like the way they are supposed to be. I then fiddle with microwave and can see that it works fine and the range too. Finally it strikes me! I check the time on that little travel clock and its blinking 12:58 in not so much glory and likewise on the range and microwave too!

For the life of me, I honestly believed it to be closer to 3 PM or so! maybe it had to do with my successful attempts at making panpole (finally) and consuming them non-stop with that tomato chutney and copious amounts of chai or it had something to do with that mid-noon dream, I remember nothing of! In any case, 12:57 it was!